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1) Observe without judgement (Observe) 2) State how it makes us feel (Feel) 3) Outline what needs are connected to the action (Need) 4) Request
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Peter Duffy
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ask the other person to summarise your Request back to you
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Peter Duffy
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Accept responsibility for our actions but not attributing their cause to something outside us
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Peter Duffy
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.nvc .compliment state the action, our need it met and how it made us feel
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Peter Duffy
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Do not follow "i feel" with that, like, as if I, you, he, she Distinguish feelings from thoughts
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Peter Duffy
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Outline what we need rather than how wrong the other person is
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Peter Duffy
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Our reaction to the response can show we are making a request
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Peter Duffy
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.listen ask the other person to repeat what you said to check if they are listening
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Peter Duffy
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if the speaker criticises the response its a demand
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Peter Duffy
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We are responsible for how we think, behave and feel
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Peter Duffy
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.feelings distinguish between feelings and what we think we are
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Peter Duffy
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We can say the word 'feel' without actually expressing a feeling
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Peter Duffy
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use positive language when making requests
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Peter Duffy
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.nvc question paraphrase your understanding of the other persons feelings and the reason why
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Peter Duffy
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.nvc be clear, specific and positive in requests
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Peter Duffy
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make clear requests so that others can respond to them
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Peter Duffy
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.needs .feeling what is it that you need
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Peter Duffy
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do not mix observation and evaluation
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Peter Duffy
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.anger when we are judging the other person for beiing wrong
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Peter Duffy
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.nvc its important for both partirs too make a connection
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Peter Duffy
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.question express your own emottions
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Peter Duffy
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.observe observe without evaluating
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Peter Duffy
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.nvc .listen
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Peter Duffy
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.nvc
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Peter Duffy
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.nvc dont criticise or diagnose
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Peter Duffy
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.but dont respond with but
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Peter Duffy
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.anger
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Peter Duffy
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.nvc
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Peter Duffy
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.nvc
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Peter Duffy
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.nvc
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Peter Duffy