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Then, after pausing, ask solution-based questions or simply label their effect: "What about this doesn't work for you?" "What would you need to make it work?" "It seems like there's something here that bothers you." People have a need to say, "No." So don't just hope to hear it at some point; get them to say it early.

In other words, there are usually several dimensions underlying a negotiation, and each party will value these dimensions differently. This opens up the possibility for a give-and-take where you give things you value less and take things you value more. As a result, both parties can end up better than they were before, getting things they wanted more and giving things they wanted less.

NEGOTIATING TACTIC: Most of the negotiation happens outside the room. Call your contacts. Figure out the salary amount you'd love, what you can realistically get, and what you'll settle for. And don't just ask for money. Literally bring a strategic plan of what you want to do in the position and hand it to your hiring manager. Do you realize how few people come to a negotiation with a plan for their role? This alone could win you $2,000 to $5,000. And, of course, it allows you to negotiate on the value you're going to bring to the company, not just the amount they'll pay you.

Being slightly bonkers can be a good negotiating strategy: being rational means you are predictable, and being predictable makes you weak. Hillary thinks like an economist, while Donald is a game theorist, and is able to achieve with one tweet what would take Clinton four years of congressional infighting. That's alchemy; you may hate it, but it works.

Labeling is a way of validating someone's emotion by acknowledging it. Give someone's emotion a name and you show you identify with how that person feels.

The goal is to identify what your counterparts actually need (monetarily, emotionally, or otherwise) and get them feeling safe enough to talk and talk and talk some more about what they want.

That is classic deal making. You start with a big first demand and negotiate back to your side of the middle.

the single best time to negotiate salary is when you're starting a new job. You have the most leverage then and--with some basic preparation--you can earn PS3,000 or PS6,000 in a simple ten-minute conversation, then retire to a nearby cafe for a light lunch. Delightful.

Have another job offer--and use it. This is the single most effective thing you can do to increase your salary. When you have another job offer, your potential employers will have a newfound respect for your skills. It's like seeing the hot girl in the bar who's surrounded by guys. You want her more because everyone else does, too.