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REMEMBER THAT A CLEAR "NO" CAN BE MORE GRACEFUL THAN A VAGUE OR NONCOMMITTAL "YES" As anyone who has ever been on the receiving end of this situation knows, a clear "I am going to pass on this" is far better than not getting back to someone or stringing them along with some noncommittal answer like "I will try to make this work" or "I might be able to" when you know they can't. Being vague is not the same as being graceful, and delaying the eventual "no" will only make it that much harder - and the recipient that much more resentful.