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Conversation is hardly better than a ping-pong game of opposed opinions, a game in which no one keeps score, no one wins, and everyone is satisfied because he does not lose--that is, he ends up holding the same opinions he started with.

Don't let the little things divide you when your agreement on the big things should bind you. Almost every group that agrees on the big things ends up fighting about less important things and becoming enemies even though they should be bound by the big things.

disagreement is futile agitation unless it is undertaken with the hope that it may lead to the resolution of an issue.

When two people believe opposite things, chances are that one of them is wrong. It pays to find out if that someone is you. That's why I believe you must appreciate and develop the art of thoughtful disagreement. In thoughtful disagreement, your goal is not to convince the other party that you are right--it is to find out which view is true and decide what to do about it. In thoughtful disagreement, both parties are motivated by the genuine fear of missing important perspectives.

the person who, at any stage of a conversation, disagrees, should at least hope to reach agreement in the end. He should be as much prepared to have his own mind changed as seek to change the mind of another. He should always keep before him the possibility that he misunderstands or that he is ignorant on some point. No one who looks upon disagreement as an occasion for teaching another should forget that it is also an occasion for being taught.

Remember, you are not arguing; you are openly exploring what's true.

We've been practicing disagree and commit since the beginning, but it took Bezos's letter to name the practice. Now we even use that exact term in our discussions. "I disagree, but let's commit" is something you'll hear at Basecamp after heated debates about specific products or strategy decisions.